My grandpa Nader just passed away and I thought I would share his eulogy that my mom wrote–
Today is the day that we say farewell to an era; to a huge network that has weaved a life of its own. That network began with a spark that was the love between our Mom and Dad.
Joseph Nader was born on January 23, 1923, in Detroit, MI; to parents that had immigrated from Lebanon. One of eight children, he is survived only by his younger brother, Tony, and preceded in death by his wife, Shirley Mae, and daughter, Susie.
He grew up on Joe Campo in Detroit, joined the army during World War II, and was sent to Germany. In 1944, he suffered frostbite on his toes which landed him in the hospital in Colorado where he met Shirley.
Shirley Oswald was a nurse and being the handsome soldier that he was, Shirley declared that she was going to marry that man. So, instead of heating her massage oil, as the other nurses did, she placed hers in the refrigerator. They obviously fell madly in love.
They were not supposed to date, she was an officer and he was enlisted, but if you knew Shirley she had a way of bending and all out breaking the rules. They married in May 1945 in Minnesota and settled in Detroit. Dad went to school to become a court stenographer and worked for years in the Courts in Mt. Clemens. The first group of children were raised in Herman Gardens and then the family moved to Dearborn Heights, where they lived for over 60 years.
In total, Joe and Shirley had 15 children in 20 years. This resulted in – 53 grandchildren, 81 great grandchildren and 3 great great grandchildren. What an incredible legacy. It would also be fair to say that each person in this family could state, with absolutely certainty and confidence, that they felt as if they were truly dad’s favorite. He had a way of making each and every person feel special and unique among the Nader Clan. It was a true gift.
Fifteen kids seems like a lot, but it didn’t seem odd growing up. It was the norm, our norm, it was our family and now it seems like a gift that our parents gave us. Like so many of the gifts Dad has given us all, the gift of love, laughter, and always a shoulder to cry on. Family was everything to Dad and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t give to help his family.
Not only were we blessed with a huge family, but we also had an extensive network of close family friends which developed over the years. This network was made up of a group of liberal individuals who eventually moved away from the traditional Catholic Church. This group eventually formed their own roving parish that focused on family, food, and religion. Through this Mom and Dad acquired their closest friends, friends that are still close to this very day and many of whom are our God Parents.
When my grandfather passed, my father became “Baya” or our beloved Father. Baya had such a way of making you feel as though you were the only one, the favorite, the smartest and most interesting. Whatever you were involved in, he would say – that is amazing, that is neat! Baya had a few Joe-isms, for example he always said – you iggit – and would laugh. He was famous for getting songs stuck in your heads (like that silly Faygo song), he loved the casino, traveling, and horse shoes. He loved the law and a good debate. One of his favorite phrases was – Man-yana. Tomorrow.
Toward the end, Dad kept commenting that he felt so blessed and truly humbled by the outpour of love from his family. He kept saying that he was just an ordinary man, but I think we all know that’s not true. He was an extraordinary person and lived an extraordinary life. We are better for having known him. Dad’s last words to me were- do not mourn my passing, but rejoice because I am free and I am with the love of my life and my heavenly family.
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I should point out that this was Noomi’s first open casket funeral and she was highly interested and inquisitive. She kept approaching the coffin, asking questions and watching people pray. She wanted to know when grandpa was going to get up and what those people were doing? She did not appear afraid, just curious. During the service there were singers and they actually sang the Strawberry song (really a John Denver song… don’t recall the real name). When they began the song, Noomi sat up and looked at me and proclaimed that she knew that song too! My grandma sang it to my mom, my mom sang it to me, and I sing it to my kids!
I realize now that Noomi couldn’t place my grandpa, because she kept worrying that the man that makes her the popcorn is gone and who will make her the popcorn! I pointed out that it was my uncle David that made her the popcorn at grandpa’s house. We actually went over that a dozen times… still not sure she believes me. Ajax on the other-hand was serious and thoughtful during the funeral service. He definitely understood what was happening and didn’t seem to have any questions, though Dave and I kept asking.
It helped that there were lots of other little kids present and then afterwards, there was a lunch at my uncle Joey J’s VFW Hall where they all ran wild.
